New Cycle

Can't help but wonder if there really is a new "era" starting with this year. For some reason, I always had 28 in mind as the start of a different time in my life. I suppose in many aspects it is a new life, it is a different time.
I'm in love in a very new and wonderful way (which I am still discovering how to deal with and how it manifests and reflects in my life and mind), I'm feeling more comfortable with my job and my place in that same world (even though that notion is still developping and growing and I still can't say I am satisfied with this new work mode I've been in for the last six months), I've been thinking about things that weren't present before, or at least that seemed distant and those perspectives make me feel like time is moving and so am I. I'm learning how to deal with distance from people I love, miss and need in my life. I'm past the "schock" phase of not being able to grasp the possibility of being away from them and now coming more to terms with how I feel and how I can cope with that distance.

Even some things are taking center stage in my life, like being honest about who I am and how I'm living my life, and spreading to unkown areas in my life (or at least I'm feeling that need and considering acting upon it).

But still... will this year be that different from last year? Was 2010 different from the year before? I wonder if this feeling of "promise of change" is natural in us, because of the change of year, and we, humans, have that habit of thinking a change in calendar brings a change in our lives. Maybe nothing will change.

Well, I can't believe that...! I must feel that things are moving, and, obviously, moving forward. Maybe this is it: maybe we, humans, need to believe that our lives are evolving into something better and closer to a notion of perfection we created for ourselves. Well, this seems kind of obvious... Aha moment: fail.

At the same time, we make our lives, right? So, if we want our lives to be different, we have to turn them into something different. I'm trying to be more active in that sense. I'm trying to make things happen, but not only is it hard, but at the same time, I don't really know in what direction to go... I'm trying to be better, much better and faster at my job. I'm trying to do good in school. I'm trying to be more enlightened with my friends. I'm trying to invest more in my relationship and sabotage it much less. These are concrete things that I want. But I don't know where things are going otherwise...

I just hope that 28 really is different. I'm feeling a little more mature and the weight of the age 28 certainly scares me. I know that this might be a recurring feeling from now on, but nevertheless, it's here.

And maybe I should turn that into something, well, brilliant.